OK, so I guess a spiritual awakening was in the pipeline for me for a while. Looking back to the past year or so a series or events led up to an ‘explosion’ of emotions, which resulted in the loss of a job, and brand new coincidences, alignments, and overhaul of my way of thinking and behaving.
During this period I’d read about the dark spiritual awakening, where something so bad happens (loss of job, family member, debt, etc) that you might think you’re depressed and don’t know how you will ever get out of your ‘funk’ or ‘life being a mess’ in general.
I first-hand went through this. It was TOUGH. My life was a mess largely because I didn’t have a clue what I was supposed to be doing, where I was going or what to do. Everyone around me seemed to have it ‘so together, ‘ and I was having some sort of breakdown. Moments of bliss and elation followed by sheer panic and anxiety (Yep, you too?)
It’s still tough because I’m not sure what’s right anymore. I’ve learned that if it feels right then, it probably is, to trust my instinct and go with the flow. (I repeat this mantra a lot in my writing, but I love reminding myself to ‘just go with the flow.’ It calms me and reminds me that everything is ok.
I knew I wasn’t depressed. I couldn’t be depressed because I’ve got too much life in me. I wouldn’t let myself declare depression either, and all the signs of a spiritual awakening were pointing towards ME.
It’s not some hippie shit that some people might think, my interpretation of it is only becoming more aware and conscious of what/how my thoughts are projecting onto the universe and what effect that is having in creating the life that I want.
I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason but not to THIS level. Every single aspect, moment and event that happens to me, I remind myself it’s taken place for a reason, and I just look at these moments and days in gratitude because everything takes shape somehow.
I’ve believed in God my entire life and pray most nights, although this new shift meant that I started spotting coincidences, noticing how my life had taken shape and the events leading up to where I am now are all outcomes of my subconscious thoughts and my actions were mirroring what I really wanted to receive.
Since becoming more spiritually aware, I have begun asking questions like;
- What can I do to make a difference?
- Where do I actually belong?
- Why do I even exist?
- What can I do to be successful?
- What’s my role?
- A deeper connection with the universe, God, surroundings, energy.
- An attraction towards spirituality, self-help, motivational quotes and people who think and feel the same.
- Learning to let negative thoughts go because they are not real. Negative thoughts are imaginations that I’ve construed, and they are not an accurate representation of me.
- Starting each day with a positive thought. Positive thoughts to get me out a ‘funk.’
- Life has more meaning; We can’t all be put here to work 9-5 and live behind a computer screen our whole lives, can we?
- Feeling like something HAS to happen because I can believe it will happen. Success and greatness are around the corner. How do I know? Because friends and even strangers are telling me that it is.
- Being so grateful and blessed for everything that has happened because of it stronger for it and more aware of what I’m doing, who I’m spending my time with, where I’m spending my time and what kind of activities I’m engaging in. I’m glad that I now have a better relationship with God and the universe and it’s giving back.
- Beginning to live in the present moment is INCREDIBLY hard, especially when you catch yourself on auto-pilot and have to bring yourself back into the moment, but even catching myself in this time is enough for me, right now. Living presently is something that everyone, I think struggles with because we are forward and thinking nation. I have the ability to take myself into the moment now and be grateful for my surroundings and even just being alive which is a turning point in itself.